Ever heard the saying "Say it, don't spray it?" I'm pretty sure this dude is the reason why the saying exists.
My man is sitting in a pub having a pint with a friend and dude is literally spraying as he speaks. When they talk about keeping six feet of distance, now I understand why, but 6 feet might not be enough around this human sprinkler.
Ever seen the movie The Benchwarmers? Probably not because it was straight garbage, but this dude reminds me of Sammy Sprinkler from the movie. See crappy YouTube clip below for my weak attempt at making a comparison.