If you want to help them with this current nightmare and all the others down the road, this job is for you!

Your responsibilities:

  • Creating and maintaining a favorable image and brand reputation for United in destinations United serves to Latin America(You’ll have a better chane at repairing Pol Pot’s reputation)
  • Serving as company spokesperson(I’d rather be the spokesperson for Pepsi, and that’s saying a lot)
  • Respond to media inquiries(I’d rather be thrown in a room with a pack of hungry and rabid jackals)
  • Discovering, analyzing and recommending new opportunities for external and internal storytelling(We bludgeoned one of our paying customers because we had to fly our employees on an overbooked flight)
  • Proactively pitch stories(Hi media, I’d like to pitch a story, we haven’t concussed any passengers in FIVE whole days)

You can apply here